'Mental Social Distancing' is need of the hour, we have a bigger virus amongst us!

"We are there for you", "Be kind, Be nice", "I'm all ears", etc it's all I have been reading all over social media as a reaction to a celebrity committing suicide. 

It's frustrating, annoying and funny that people who have posted such concern and offered help to others to come pour their hearts out to them incase they are going through a tough time are the once who keep doing wrong to people on regular basis. I have seen these horrible souls bitching and manipulating everyone around for personal gain and even worse at times just for fun, at someone else's expense. People have lost jobs and credibility because of these talented manipulators. I would personally think twice before opening my mouth in front of such assholes because you never know what you say will be used against you, at times even things one hasn't said are used against them. 

So when such people come forward and offer help or even worse when they say "depression is real" and preach humanity, it really makes me angry. If depression is real so are the factors causing it; people who can't stop back stabbing and sabotaging each other, people who speak with the sole purpose of manipulating other, people who are the viruses that affect our mental health with just their words are also real. 

And such people are everywhere, these are the ones we refer to when we talk about "work politics". And yes I admit that even I am a part of this mess in someway, whenever I have tried to "Network " I ended up being a part of someone bitching about someone and it's contagious, I often realise after the conversation that 'oops even I have bad mouthed someone'. 

Let's come to 'Networking', it's about discussing important updates in your industry, what are the new developments, any change in the current way of working, etc but no one is interested in talking about all that, everyone wants to talk about people, who is doing what and yes even that is important, you need to know who is getting promoted, who has what equation with whom, because it does affect your business but the thin line between networking and bitching is very blur, we often don't realise when we cross over to talking badly about someone or gossiping. 

Another thing that I have realised that there are very few who would want to talk work and hard core work, in my entire career of 10 years I have hardly found one or two people who were genuinely interested in learning something new and discussing something constructive. Most of them just looked at me as "oh you are way to serious about things".

I know this might be late but I pledge to be more aware  of the talks I have with my peers. I would henceforth not give in into harmful gossips. I would social distance my brain from such harmful conversations. I will do my part, I hope you will do yours. 

To be or not to be 'Productive'

The Pandemic Productivity Pressure is real guys, everyone is busy showing off how much they are achieving on daily basis; working from home, working out in their homes, cooking exotic dishes, having so much fun cleaning (like really when did cleaning become fun🙄) and to top it all apparently everyone has turned into a guru doing digital seminars on what to do and what not to do during the lockdown and these digital seminars don't end with just that, there are digital seminars about everything that you can think of from learning a new language to a course to more effectively monetize your professional skills. We are being urged to hustle harder than ever. 

It feels like every second that I don't utilize in developing a skillset or improving myself is time wasted. And the worst part is that this pressure is convincing. 

It's almost like a productivity contest going on out there but at the same time there are those who are chilling out (rather being lazy) doing absolutely nothing, claiming they will not give in to such pressures. 

But honestly it's each to it's own. If I talk about me, I'm at a professional stand still, I can't work from home, I can't prep for the future because I can't predict what the situation will be like for me professionally post lockdown, will there be enough work coming in or will I have to modify my skillset and move into a different job profile (at least for a while) but all these answers I'll get only in real time once the lockdown is over. So thinking about all possible permutations and combinations which might not even happen and stressing out doesn't work for me. Surrendering to this situation is my preferred option at this point but surrendering doesn't mean I binge watch on entertainment all day or even worse binge eat and become a fat cow; I am surrendering to the fact that I can't predict the future but I am not stoping being who I am. Do I watch entertainment content? Sure I do.... Do I read novels which are again in an entertainment genre? Sure I do that too but I also watch the news, I also watch motivational videos, I also invest in horning my work skills just enough for me to be in touch but not so much that I get stressed out thinking about the uncertainty. 

So do what feels right for you, do what works for you because there is so much contradictory gyan out there about being productive (or not), it's overwhelming! 

Looks are NOT deceptive; it's the Eyes that are Perspective....

Have you ever wondered why some people see a certain set of traits in you and some can see traits completely opposite to those, and often the reality is neither, it's far from anyone has ever been able to gauge. 

Then where does this difference of opinion about the same person come from? You are the same person, out there, just being who you are; the difference is in the way people look at you and process your actions based on their limited knowledge about the world and judge you for being a "certain type" of person and if incase they ever feel it's otherwise, they casually say "Looks are Deceptive"

It is never about who people really are, it's always about the perception you form about that person based on whatever little exposure about the world you have. 

Every person is so much more than just a few adjectives. 

Each person has infinite amount of capacity to do things which are beyond imagination for our tamed mind. 

Let your mind free, don't limit it to only stuff you know, have read of or have experienced. If you want to see someone truly for who they really are then don't start categorizing them based on your limited knowledge and the same goes while judging ourselves, we often have a perception of who we are but we are so much more than what we think we are because there is so much more to what we know. 

So go out there, don't hold back, be Limitless. Don't be a slave to others or your own perceptions. 

If Life is a game of 'Snakes and Ladders', for me most of the Snakes are my Anxiety

Anxiety is a disorder not a disease,  it can't really be cured. One has to learn to live with it and work around it, try to tame it a little so that it doesn't hamper your day to day functioning but the fact is that its there, it's never really gone. One needs to be mentally prepared to deal with it when out of the blue it raises its ugly head and goes out of control because in such a situation you can't tame it you just need to be strong enough to bear it and survive the torture. It's like a game of snakes and ladder just when you think that over the years you have mastered the art of controlling stress, anxiety will be there like a snake ready to swallow you at 99 and take you back from where you started. The key is to know this might happen often and you will have to start again from scratch because the snakes(anxiety) will always be there they are not going anywhere, you might be able to dodge it at times but at times they will get you. 

Eyes are windows to the soul but it was a window that made me see through her eyes!

That little window which opens to a view of a dumpster has infinite stories and memories attached to it....stories of that summer afternoon when the little me was sitting by the window, eating a mango and I fell off the window screaming and crying and my aaji rushed towards me....stories of little me waiting at the window for mom to come back home from work and running towards her the moment I saw her enter the lane....memories of the same little me looking at the window with a grumpy face and giving angry looks to my aaji because she made me go to school with that annoying gurkha every day (not sure what was more annoying,  the school or the Gurkha).... And when little me grew up the same window had the same aaji waving 'hi' and 'bye' every single time I went home - yes aaji's  house was always 'home' and my home was 'eksar'.
As I grew up I lost the child in me who understood the happiness of waiting at the window to see the first sight of your loved ones walking towards you but she never lost that excitement, aaji was always at that window everyday waving at us with the same enthusiasm.
With age we think we can look at life more logically, saying ok to doctor saying 'she has 10% chance of survival',  ok to the fact that she is very old, ok to the fact that it's the best time for her to leave the world for otherwise she would suffer but all that logic crumbled when I looked at the window and didn't see aaji waving at me. I didn't care about what the logic and the reality was, I just wanted to see my aaji waving at me through the window.
When they were taking her away from me forever,  I ran up to that same window to wave goodbye to her and the first time I saw what she saw through the window. I had never understood what she felt when she kept waving at me all her life until I was there at the window waving goodbye to her. Aaji liked sitting at the window with a view of a dumpster for hours and I didn't get what beauty she saw in it. She didn't see the garbage, she was just seeing people she loved walking towards her and even when they left she knew they would come back soon and she would be there waiting for them at the window.

Like Really!

Being careless and carefree is a blessing and I feel I am cursed for not being that. Carefree people say or do stuff without giving  a damn of what others will think, say or react. Unlike us who think so much even before saying/doing something and then overanalyse the reply (or no reply). So much unnecessary mental exhaustion.

In Hindsight, sincere people are expected to be available  every time even when they have a genuine reason for not being available and have to face the consequences for not being there even if it's once in the blue moon situation whereas the carefree lot get away with anything and everything without any consequences. 

What are we trying to do here?  From where I see I feel all my positive traits are negative because the treatment I get for being sincere. I get punished for it and the once who do nothing get all the benefits, the praise, and zero expectations and zero consequences but 100% appreciation. 

I knew life is not fair but this is some other level of unfair. Cheers to the blind,  illogical world who torture the once who deserve all the success and praise & value the once who give a damn about anything and everything. 

L'chaim to life!

What I love about my work is that I get to meet soooo many new people on every new project I work on. Every fourth day I feel I have a new best friend or a soul brother or sister  just to realize a week later that all that bonding was just for those few days; earlier this was so confusing but 7 years down in this industry I have got use to it rather I have started enjoying it.

 I like this whole equation where I have a set of very few friends who are there forever  “in sickness and in health” and on the other hand I also keep meeting these Interesting people who I share a part of my life,  have an amazing time,  make awesome memories and that's that.

It's a reminder for me that there is nothing permanent in life and one got to keep moving on in order to really live it fully. Not everyone one is meant to stay and those awesome fun moments will end leaving behind great memories but one has to go on and make more awesome memories with a different bunch of people. 

Cheers to all of them who make my life so interesting and all of those who make my life worth living by just existing.